Poetry

I’ve seen into the heart of pain
The hurt I feel, I can claim
Self-inflicted wound, tears fall like rain
My life seems to drown with shame
There has to be a better way
I pray, “Dear Lord, help me change
Please forgive what I’ve said and done”
I despised You, Father, and Your Son
On my knees, broken and torn
God, I hope You know I’m sorry for
The sins in which I was enslaved
Envy, lust and greed, I accept my blame
Life was empty when I turned from You
The farther I ran, addiction grew
Now, here I sit, confined for my crime
Sober, yet content and happy doing time
Lord, You waited patiently for my return
Knowing one day I would learn
Freed from sin, I’m no longer bound
I once was lost, but now I’m found
I serve Your will to make You proud
Taking the straight and narrow for my crown
Thank You, Father, for always loving me
I am no longer the man I used to be

Have you felt your spirit soar –
as you reached up to the sky?

Have you wondered at the mystery –
of the clouds that drifted by?

Have you marveled at the whiteness –
of the newly fallen snow?

Have you watched them swirl in darkness –
as the winds of season blow?

Have you glimpsed their time of joy –
as they hover over the sea?

Have you seen them shed their tears –
for the things that could not be?

When you think about the clouds,
and how they came to be,

You’ll see the hand of God –
as it rests on you and me.

God made me a woman and a mother of ten.
God made me a daughter and a loyal, devoted friend.
God made me a poet with a heart full of songs.
God made me a believer, saved by grace for my wrongs.
God cleansed me and healed me and gave me a place to call home.
God made me a mate so I’ll never be alone.
God made me clean when I never thought I would be sober.
God filled me with hope when I thought my life was over.
God gave me joy again and made me smile.
I now know my home is heaven and I am God’s child.

For my faithful brothers and sisters in Christ who constantly encourage me and whose fervent prayer calms the storms in my life.

When the storm clouds in life start to gather,
like the doubt and the fear we all face,
In the tempest, our boats are soon shaken
as the waves and the wind slow our pace.

I am pitched overboard in the fury,
as discouragement starts to creep in.
I notice at once that I’m sinking,
as I fall to temptation and sin.

But Your faithful take notice and see me,
aware of the devil’s shrewd trap,
and Your chosen, in prayer and petition,
with devotion, they all stand in the gap.

Their prayers, like Your arms, reach out to me
like a lifeline I struggle to grasp.
All at once I grab hold and am lifted,
and soon all of my troubles are past.

So I thank You, dear Lord, for Your faithful
that You place all around me each day.
As they pray without ceasing, all your mercy releasing,
thank You, Jesus, for clearing our way.

Oh, give me courage, Lord, today
to face what comes along,

Give me the faith and love I need
to fill each day with song.

Oh, give me courage, Lord, today
to follow in Thy way

Help me to do what I should do,
and hear me when I pray.

Oh, give me courage, Lord, today
and strength to do Thy will,

Lead me and guide me, precious Lord,
for I need Thy presence still.

Oh, give me courage, Lord, today;
come wash away my pain.

Thou art my master, Lord and King,
and ever shall remain.

I’m on the inside looking out
Watching my life pass by.
Sitting in a prison cell
Asking myself why:

Why I’ve done the things I did
To wind up in this place
While you, my love, sit at home
With tears upon your face.

I try to write you letters
To tell you to be strong
I try to write “I’m sorry”
But the words come out all wrong.

How can I expect you
To even want me home
After all the things I’ve done
That have left you all alone?

I asked God for His guidance
And He reached into my heart.
He said with faith and honesty
Is the only way to start.

So let me start by saying
I’m sorry for hurting you.
And, my love, once I get out
We’ll start our lives anew.

We’ll build our lives in honesty
With faith in God above.
For with God watching over us,
We’ll have the purest love.

So as you’re writing letters
Listen for the phone
For someday, I will call and say
“Honey, I’m coming home.”

Until that day arrives
There’s one thing you must do
And that is to remember
How much I love you.

The man in the mirror—who could it be?
He is not the man who once looked back at me.
His hair is all turning and going away.
His beard is almost completely gray.
And his nose and face are all wrinkled and scarred.
Oh yes, his eyes—
Now there is a lot you can see in those eyes,
If you look real deep where all the hurt and pain hides.
There’s so much you could see, so much you could learn
But with each blink, he tries to hide
All he’s been through deeper inside.
So he just goes on living with the hurt and the pain,
Scared to let anyone in,
Scared they will destroy what little heart he has left.
This is the man in the mirror,
Looking back at myself.

Your love is like
Water for my soul
Filling up all the dry places
Without it life is empty and cold
Making even those
Who are young feel old
Your beautiful promises
Remove every fear
Who or what can stand against me
When You are so near?
Your love is like a river
That flows sure and true
Nothing in all creation
Can keep me from You
For who or what dares stand against
The very One who made it all?
If You wished it, just one word
Would make the whole sky fall
Your wonder is so great
Even the stars worship You
Yet the wonder of all wonders
Is that You love me the way You do

Learning from my past, here’s what I say.

Always wanting to do right, struggling every day.

Everyone has a past. Let me tell you about mine.

I’m forty-six years old, been to prison five times.

The pain and brokenness I’ve put my family through . . .

Selfish drug addict, yeah, I’ve been that too.

Looking back on life, I now see so clear

It is God who kept me alive, thankfully sitting here.

His promise of a Kingdom with no more pain.

Now, with the love of Christ, I’m able to change.

Looking into the future, how long will this change last?

I can tell you—forever, because of my past.

The plea says I’m guilty

And I inked my name.

With that single signature,

Life’ll never be the same.

Yet the burden of the court’s conviction

Is weightless to me.

The one true Judge,

My Lord and Savior,

Declares me

    Not.

        Guilty.

Now I can see

Why Jesus loves me.